


Trust

by EdosianOrchids901



Series: Plain Simple Prompts [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Claustrophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Elim Garak, POV First Person, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 02:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15451785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdosianOrchids901/pseuds/EdosianOrchids901
Summary: Dialogue prompt: "Do you trust me?"





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> The first of in a series of ficlets based on dialogue prompts from Tumblr. Written 12/17.

“Do you trust me?”

It seemed too arduous to even contemplate answering the softly-spoken inquiry. Pressure on my chest mounted, cutting off my air. Once again, the room moved in all around me and I shuddered, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Elim?” Julian’s voice vaguely registered, and I glanced at him. Relief washed over his face at my acknowledgement. Still kneeling on the floor a few feet away, he leaned forward. “Elim, do you trust me?”

“Yes,” I managed to hiss. Breathing became more impossible every second, and I clutched at my chest, gritting my teeth. Please, make it stop…

“Then let me help you,” he pleaded, expression pained. He was clearly upset that he hadn’t been here when the attack started, and possibly plagued by guilt over how often he’d been working late. 

I nodded, still struggling to draw breath. To my horror, my throat constricted as the doctor moved closer – it seemed my panicked, hysterical mind didn’t like being backed into the corner. Stupid, really. I knew perfectly well that he would never harm me, and yet…

Julian knelt right beside me, and I flinched. “Easy,” he soothed, reaching out slowly. When I didn’t recoil, he grasped my trembling hand. “There we go, it’s all right.”

“I-I can’t breathe,” I gasped, barely able to even speak. An unsuccessful attempt to inhale sent my panic spiking higher, and I clutched his hand in a death grip. “Julian, I can’t…”

“Shhh, I’m here.” Warm fingers pressed to my temple, and my partner gave a soft noise of dismay. “Oh, Garak, your heart is absolutely racing.”

I already knew that all too well – my heartbeat thudded in my ears, making it difficult to focus. Angry with myself for losing control, I attempted to halt the tremors wracking my body. But, as usual, my symptoms worsened the harder I fought. 

“What happened? Did something set off the attack?” Julian asked, tenderly drying the sweat accumulating across my face. Expression sad, he leaned in to plant a sweet, gentle kiss on my brow, and then drew back to make eye contact again. 

Shrugging, I attempted to focus on him. I didn’t know what happened – the attack came out of nowhere, sending me crashing into a huddle on the floor and totally incapacitating me in a matter of seconds. In any case, trying to determine a cause right now would be markedly less productive than making an effort to restore my ability to breathe. 

He gave me a sympathetic look, stroking my hair. As always when I was in this sort of state, he kept his movements slow so he didn’t startle me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when it hit, love. But I’m with you now, and I’ll help however I can.”

Still shaking, I inclined my head in thanks. There wasn’t all that much he could do for me, but his mere presence was a comfort. Being alone always increased the duration and severity of my panic attacks. 

Julian gave me that soft, kind smile that I loved so much, and squeezed my hand. “I want you to try to focus on me, okay? You’re safe, nothing’s gonna hurt you.”

I tried my best to do as he said, knowing it would bring me back to normal more quickly. But the walls still felt so close, and there was no air, and it was all moving in again… closing in all around me, about to crush me…

Distressed, I twisted in an effort to escape the perceived threat. The doctor’s firm, steady grip stilled my movements. Gazing into my eyes, he spoke in a clear tone. “Garak, look at me. It’s all right, take it easy. The walls aren’t moving, you’re safe.”

I went limp, too tired to fight anymore. Despite my increasingly ragged, rasping breaths, I no longer had the strength to try to flee from what I was still sure was certain doom. Another labored, inadequate struggle for air, another series of tremors…

Worried, Julian supported my head as I shook. “Can I hold you, or will that be too confining?” he asked, looking almost frantic at my repeated failures to breathe. 

Paradoxically, the thought of being held evoked feelings of being protected, rather than trapped. Desperate for comfort and support, I tugged on his hand. Still careful, he moved even closer and cradled my quaking body to his chest. 

Soothed by the contact, I closed my eyes and surrendered myself to his arms. Even with the panic still crashing over me in waves, I knew I could survive it now. I could survive anything as long as I had Julian to stay with me though the terror.


End file.
